Dear Life,
You have been good to me. Here I am, 23 years old, living in the greatest city on earth, surrounded by incredible friends. I somehow landed an amazing career upon immediately completing my English degree, and everything except my liver is healthy.
Life is amazing. But for some reason, I have been unusually down. I find myself pacing back and forth, unsure what to do with myself. I write, and write, and write. But I’m stuck. I’m too young to be this settled, but too broke to have any other choice.
So I dream of travel. Travel, travel, travel. I dream of NYC, the Greek Islands, and glassy beaches. I Google potential future homes to explore. I play the lottery.
I’m actually just writing these future options here so I can explore them more. I love my job and the people I work with, and I’m not ready to leave yet. But I am terrified that by the time I’m financially able to travel freely, I’ll have different commitments.
Hahahahahaha, I know right? The day I become attached is the day my feet are cemented in stone.
Working abroad
I am fortunate enough to work for a company that has international offices in Lorient (France), Vigo (Spain), Seattle, Houston, Reykjavik (Iceland), and Ontario. Vigo has the greatest appeal to me as a fair-sized city on the coast. Unfortunately, if my company were to support me in my endeavour, sending me off to France is my best bet. I’ve already been to Lorient, and while it was a lovely town, I can’t imagine living there.
On the other hand, there’s no way I could afford the move anywhere or the cost of living, so this entire process seems fruitless.
Mini-vacations
Goddammit, does anyone realize how difficult it is to find cheap flights from an isolated island in the middle of the Atlantic? Pretty friggen hard.
However, My BFF lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia, and it is impertinent that I visit her within the year. Crazy nightlife, beautiful waterfront, and lots of great shopping. I’m there.
Then there’s St. Pierre et Miquelon, the destination which initially hooked me to travel when I was fifteen years old. SPM blows my mind because it’s more undiscovered than Newfoundland, and it’s France. Mother-effing France! Just miles off the coast of Newfoundland. They drive funny European vehicles, have European voltage, and they rarely speak English.
St. Pierre was where I first tasted pain du chocolat, and danced all night in the incredibly expensive discotheque. I NEED to get back there, my travel writing career depends on it!
And until I plan my mega-awesome-fabulous Greek Island vacation for 2011, I’m doing a 7-day trip to Edmonton next summer/spring to visit some friends, go camping at Banff, and drink my face off.
** I actually feel better after writing all that out and seeing I do have travel opportunities coming up, even if they will break the bank. Honestly, it is my finances that worry me more than anything, and although I’m to blame for putting myself in some of this mess, it kills me how much money holds me back. I tried booking a trip to Hali for the weekend, but the flight would be about $500 in total. Yeah. Even renting a car for SPM is about $70 a day, plus some of the girls do not have passports yet. So it’s either head home to the bay, or cook turkey with TOR.
Speaking of travel, Chef left today for Morocco (his flight was cancelled yesterday). The house is eerily quiet. We celebrated honoured his departure with mussels steamed in white wine, salmon stuffed with cream cheese and spinach, and those leftover bottles of wine. I’m good at breaking resolutions before I make them.
FINALLY, I leave you with this awesome piece of news from my hometown. The principal of my old high school (love that man) challenged all 248 students in school (248 students from K-12, I might add) to raise $5100 or more for the Terry Fox Run. If they successfully completed the mission, he’d spend half the day outside. On the roof of the school.
And the mission was successful.
Up on the rooftop, click-click-click.
I believe that if you write it down the chances of it happening become real. You write it, you visualize it, you make it happen. My school was 150, K thru 12, small schools rock. And I got my email right this time…ugh or ha ha ha.
Ahhh, I can completely relate. Last night I wrote a very similar (but less elegantly worded) post about how I’ve been feeling that I am kind of stuck, Not unhappy, but stuck. I haven’t posted it yet because it was more of a rant and had no grammatical limits, but you may see it in the next few days.
And girrrrl… if you ever get to relocate with your company, get your ass to texas!
248 students K-12? I thought my town was small because we had less than 200 students in my graduating class! you win
@Linlah: Your school only had 150??!!!!!! Whooooooaaaaaaaa. I thought I lived in bumfuck nowhere. Awesome!
@Carissa: POST IT! I’m not elegently wordy, you just think I am. And I’m SO interested in Texas, you have no idea. Don’t think it’s an option though.
@Abbie: HAAAAAH! 19 people in my graduation class. 200?! That’s nuts.
I don’t think having a significant other means you are cemented in stone. Hell I love to travel and have a 4 continents before 40 plan. First stop, Brazil in 2011. France in 2016 (100th anniversary of Beaumont Hammel) Fit Asia and either Africa or Australia in there somewhere. The key, find someone who wants to travel with you. Guess that’s why I am single
If you come to Halifax you have to visit moi on the darkside. We can do shooters off a crack whore! (too much?)
Porter fly’s here for like $300.
Don’t get an STI in Banff. I hear that happens. MAKE SURE to see Lake Louise too. It’s a MUST. I’ve never heard this little St Pierre de la blah blah that you speak of. I’ll have to Google it. I mean, je vais le Google.
haha, your company offices: France! Spain! Seattle! Iceland! oh… and Ontario.
How did you know that Googling potential future homes is one of my favorite pastimes?? And I am currently planning my trip to the greek isles in 2010.
Your principle is cool
As for the wanderlust – go, dream, explore, discover
Here’s an writing assignment for you, title it ‘How I blagged a free plane ride to NYC and started my travels’
hahahahah omg…HILARIOUS! I <3 principal
@Chris: You’re absolutely right, of course! Mostly I’m just worried about shifting priorities. Mostly, I don’t know what the fuck I want. Anyway, I’m TOTALLY down with taking shots off of crackwhores, YES!!!
@Blondie: Hah! My parents have old photographs of them at Lake Louise and I always wanted to visit there. I also wanna check out the Calgary Stampede. Maybe I should just move out there? That sounds about right.
Hahahaha yeee, the Ontario office is kinda an afterthought because it’s fairly new and lagging behind in technology. Spain is still #1. One of my coworkers is named Francisco, mm.
@Lola: Dude, we’re soulmates, it’s obvious. Greek Islands 2010??!! Wait for 2011 and I’ll join you!!
@Rob: Bahaha, thanks Rob! I just need to pay off this pesky debt, then I’m hitting the road…yep…should only take 5 years…or 10.
@Jagerbomb: I miss that man!
I’m clapping my hands for such an awesome principal.
Oh hey how can you dream of NYC when you live right next to it!
Haha. I wanna go to Morocco too ):
Thanks for piquing my interest St. Pierre et Miquelon. Never even heard of such a place!
I’m all about intention, so just writing all those travel goals out there is powerful stuff. Now it comes to attention to that intention. (btw-if you’ve never been, Banff is gorgeous!)
I can empathize a little with the airport situation. (I thought it was bad that I had to drive 2-4 hours to big airports though!) I could definitely see you scoring one of those writing gigs that pays for a little trip/vacay…
Btw-awesome principal
@Nashe: Isn’t he great? I adored that man. And I may be “close” to NYC but it’s still several hundred dollars to get there!
@Nancy: I seriously hope to take a trip out there in 2010 and document the hell out of it, I feel like I’m onto gold here. If you loved Montreal, you’d love St. Pierre! And thanks for the support!
it’s good to take an assessment every once in a while and not just keep chugging along… but my dear, you are LEAPS and bounds ahead of most people. especially writers.
it took me forever to make ANY sort of money doing this. and i’m still not completely doing it full time. nor am i writing what i’d love to be writing. it takes YEARS. something i don’t want to accept, but i must.
i get depressed alot too. especially cus i know i’m capable of doing so many jobs out there, but there’s no way i can get them without “experience” in that particular genre, or whatever.
it. sucks.
That is awesome about the principal! So funny!
I think I feel the same way sometimes… or most of the time. I am stuck in a rut. I fantasize about going abroad and disappearing sometimes. You are super lucky that your job has positions abroad. So jealous!
Ahhh, I’m glad you think I’m ahead of some people, that’s nice to hear as I often feel like I’m just fumbling along like a fool. I’d love to be in your position as a freelancer someday though. What would you actually love to be writing?