It’s Friday night and I’m sitting in my bed surrounded by a bowl of popcorn, some lollipops, and mint Girl Guide cookies. Tonight, I was invited to a kegger and a Captain Morgan party, and there are currently people drinking downstairs. I chose to sit here in my bed and catch up on some work, because I’m entering a new Candice-era where I appreciate full nights of sleep and being asexual. Non-sexual? Whatever. I’m going to be picking popcorn kernels out of my orifices for months.
(Note: I’m going to a party tomorrow night, and I have plans lined up for the next two years, so I’ll be significantly more awesome once I’m on top of things. Also, I spent the night shopping and at the gym, which were both total wastes of time given the fact I didn’t buy ANYTHING [besides a necklace and earrings for myself...] and am now gorging on junkfood.)
Anyway. I had to share this story with you.
So I’m walking to work this morning, and I’m passing through George Street. There’s a man leaning into the dumpster beside The Yellow Belly Brewery. I note that he doesn’t necessarily seem like a bum, because he’s dressed more like a skeet (i.e. windsuit).
I’m walking along, minding my own business, when all of a sudden a MUFFIN skids past my feet and explodes. I look up, and the man is just standing there, cigarette dangling from the very edge of his lips in particular skeet fashion, looking back at me. I’m so genuinely intrigued that I do not even become startled or angered. No words are spoken. I understand this skeet. This skeet understands me. This skeet and I are one.
But did he mean to throw that muffin? If he were digging for food, why would he waste a perfectly good muffin? Did the muffin offend him somehow? Was the muffin a reminder of his skeet existence?
Damn, I had a really great five second video of the runners passing through Water Street with the olympic torch today. I had no intention of watching the parade, I just happened to be there. It was easy to get caught up in the excitement though; it made me want to head to Vancouver in 2010. Some guy passing by handed me two flags and I just kinda waved them lamely there on the side of the road. Go Canada. Woot.
**I just Googled the definition for “skeet” because I wasn’t sure if it were a Newfie word…turns out it means something entirely different than what I’m implying. Think Newfie hillbilly.
Skeet it’s funny in your story with the original meaning especially with the MUFFIN throwing added in.
i just want you to know that it’s friday night at midnight and i’m currently in my bed, surrounded by a remote, a laptop, and a box of butter pecan.
such is the life of a writer.
Hilarious story! You crack me up. I can’t say I’ve ever had a muffin thrown at me. Especially not by a “skeet”. All I can think of is that rap song, “Skeet, Skeet, Skeet all over…(fill in the rest, haha).
I got nice and drizzy for you last night. Now I’m rocking the smoke-tinged hair and dull headache while I’m working. yay…
And yes, I’m curious too why the skeet would throw a muffin. I will be pondering that while I chug lots of water…
I love all your Newfie words, they’re great. By the way, I came across your blog from Alana’s blog, and I quite enjoy it. You write well, and again… the Newfie words… awesome!
I payed the skeet good money to throw that muffin.
What happened to the muffin lol
Who wastes muffins?!
They’re the best foodstuff on the planet.
How weird about the muffin!!
And I was totally taken aback by the word “skeet” until you explained it! Like you said, WAY different meaning in the states. Lol!
Ah, I was going to ask what a skeet is. Now I just have to ask what a wind suit is.
Candice, do you think he might have thrown the muffin to get your attention? Perhaps he wanted to get to know you and just couldn’t find the words? Perhaps he was trying to impress you with his aim and his strength? Or perhaps in the skeet culture when an attractive woman walks by, muffins are thrown? Really, I could go on for a long time with the possibilities here.
Maybe you’ll run into him again and you can discover the true meaning behind the muffin.
Hi, I got here through Blunt or Linlah, I can’t remember which. I’ll be back. Love your writing style! Skeet…I gotta go look that one up.
I spent this entire post trying to figure out what a skeet was. I was worried that I’ve finally reached an age where the divide between me being “hip” and “senile” has finally blurred, but now.. well, I’m still not sure.
@linlah: oh god, so many inappropriate images
@brit: we should have a pyjama writer party! i’ll bring the boxed wine!
@nancy: i’m proud of you! i was informed via twitter today that a banana and gatorade are the perfect hangover cure. apparently the potassium helps with absorption or something. the more you know.
@karina: thanks, and thanks for dropping by! can’t wait to check out your blog
@kjax: you dirty fish monger
@smiley: i’m sure it made a lovely home for itself either in the belly of a pidgeon or another skeet
@j: seriously! why buy a full muffin and throw it away?
@cammy: bahahaha, i think the american version of “skeet” is way more awesome
@sabina: hmmm, is “wind suit” a newfie thing? kinda like a vinyl tracksuit used by runners, except in this case it suggests someone is unemployed/a smoker. maybe he was actually a rich millionaire? maybe i really messed up on this one?
@yorksnbeans: hah! thanks for visiting, love new followers. glad we’re all learning something new here. skeet.
@sherri: i hope you discovered the true meaning, and your life is now better because of it
I told you! The muffin throwing was a mating ritual!
“and I just kinda waved them lamely there on the side of the road. Go Canada. Woot.”
Don’t ask me why, but that made me LOL a bit more than necessary. And it’s been ages since I had mint GG cookies, just FYI.
Btw wanna join my postcard exchange/delivery/thingy going on at my blog?
@cubemate: ewwwwww, i would most definitely not tap that
@nashe: bahahaha, it was so lame. and a huge “hells yeah” for snailmail!
Awesome story – who throws a muffin? On more than two occasions I’ve been hit in the head with a fist full of peanuts while walking my dogs – apparently I look like a squirrel. I couldn’t drink Friday night after my ho-bag night on Thursday. Then I got trashed again on Saturday – I’m in serious need of detox.
Hahaha Maybe the skeet was trying to throw the muffin to you? What flavor was it? Maybe it had weird filling in it that he didn’t like….
OK i’m digging your use of the word skeet, though Im still not entirely sure I understand what kind of person you mean.. When I think of a windsuit I think of soccer mom types haha.
And there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying in and eating loads. At least that is what I’ve been telling myself!
A muffin-throwing adventure. Very sweet. It was a way of breaking the ice, I guess. LOL, a bran muffin nonetheless.
LOL!! (I just looked it up)
People throw peanuts at you?! Who are these wasteful people? Bad table manners, ugh.
I think it was bran, it was kinda dark and didn’t have chocolate chips so it was definitely something sucky. I’m goign to post a video of a skeet, and then you shall understand.