Two weeks into the new year, and I’m already dropping money like it’s goin’ out of style.
Booked two trips this week. Well, technically. You can read more about those here because I am a lazy shithead.
I’m so excited about NYC I could cry. Looks like my work will be sending me to either Ontario or Seattle at some point this year too, which is pretty sweet. No time for any sightseeing, but even the hotel lifestyle makes me happy.
Anyway, Chef’s friend was visiting us last night (another Yarmouthian, gosh those boys are swell) and so I lobbied them to teach me how to play Risk. I’m told there are two things I must know to tap into the secret world of boy brains: hockey, and Risk. I can’t wrap my head around hockey, but I’m all for domination. Of the world.
I didn’t do too bad, actually beat out Chef’s friend, but probably because he helped me the whole time. At some point, the game dissolved into a screaming match as everyone around the table threw insults of the most vulgar kind at each other, including references to vaginas and various excretements. My girlish contribution did not sway their assault.
By the time some other people showed up, I had removed my cardigan and was sweating with the effort of keeping my troops protected. I’d roll a dice, chug my beer, and scream at my roommate.
Totally accepted into the male club, yeah?
Then, as one would have it, we ended up at the strip club again. I don’t know why this keeps happening to me, I wanted to dance a jig to some fiddle music. Instead I watched some women remove their clothes and rub a pole between their ass cheeks. At least the last time I was there, I got so drunk I didn’t realize my bra was glowing through my shirt.
The best part is that, despite being a little hungover, I actually showed up early for work today. I should receive a trophy.
I have to get to bed though, but I will reply to comments later. G’night folks!
Yesssss! The assimilation is going well. *evil laugh*
If only I had balls to scratch! or not…
Sounds like you are IN! Boys can be fun to hang with since they are generally less judgemental than other women.
Kudos on being early to work. I managed to be early too
So true, haha. They’re good for keeping my craziness in check.
I’ve never played risk before, sounds like i need to!!! And hells yeah for making it to work on time, that’s better than i can say for myself. I can’t wait to hear about your trips. I heart living vicariously through you!!
If the idea of taking over the world makes you happy, DO IT. I mean, play Risk. Don’t actually take over the world.
i really really hate risk. probably because i have no idea what is going on.
holy crap you are going to love NYC!!
Yeah, I still haven’t figured out the strategy part, hahaha.
I was forbidden from ever playing Risk again after a really bad screamfest where in I called my boyfriend’s [at that time] mother a vagina reference. I miss those days! Now I just call my friends vagina references while we play Balderdash.
I love vagina references! Best insults ever!
I’m so jealous your heading to NYC. I can’t wait to see what you all get up too. Oh and I so need to check out Risk it sounds awesome.
Wish you could make it, bud! But your travel plans sound much cooler.
Sounds like a lot of good times and some great stories. I can’t wait.
Me neither, so excited!
Look forward to you reporting from NY!
Good work on the risk game, I haven’t a clue how to play it, but your world domination remarks on facebook make sense now
Bahaha yes, I suppose I should have clarified. NYC is gonna be a blast.
This line made me lol: we ended up at the strip club again. I don’t know why this keeps happening to me.
Sad to say I’ve never been to a strip club, even though I’m actually curious to see one in person. Sounds like you’re definitely IN with the boys. Woot woot.
Man, I almost ended up at the strip club AGAIN last night. Wtf.
i miss being single with you, i know this post wont damage my relationship, as my boyfriend does not read!
call me
I’ve thought about you often these past few days, mon cherie!
Wish you were coming to Chicago!
I totally am at some point!
Boys are so much more fun than girls…
So true. And hairier, too.