I posted about this on Facebook and Twitter. I got lectured, by many well-meaning individuals who are totally justified in doing so. But I’d just like to point out that within in the past month, we’ve had about two days of sunshine here in Newfoundland. Also, my winter-ravaged skin has so thoroughly exhausted me with its soreness that a few minutes in a tanning bed per week actually does WONDERS.
And also, I want to be TANNED.
Anyway. So I use the beds at the gym because it’s most convenient, even though the system is bullshit and I have to use $5 in loonies for each visit. This gives me 20 minutes total, but since I can’t go any higher than 10 minutes, it’s a total waste of money.
So today I went into the room and inserted my dolla coins, one at a time, but then the last one wouldn’t work. I pushed it through but it wouldn’t click, and then I had to keep hitting the “RETURN” button to get my dollar back. It wouldn’t return my other four loonies.
I went to the front desk and was refunded my loonies, and then took my business to the next room. The exact same thing happened, I was dumbfounded. I shook the little vending machine and cursed and thought perhaps Someone Up There was telling me to STOP TANNING IMMEDIATELY, but I’m stubborn and I had to feel warm again.
One of the workers came with me this time, and we struggled through the process again. She was confused too.
“Ok, let’s try another one, “ she said, and disappeared.
She popped back in two seconds later.
“Wait a second…maybe it’s the loonie?”
Apparently I had been inserting the same rogue, crooked loonie into the vending machine BOTH TIMES. And this thought didn’t even occur to me at all, not even slightly. I thought for SURE I had just destroyed two perfectly good tanning beds, even though it was clear that just ten minutes ago someone else was using them.
I laughed about it the rest of the way home.
P.S. Will reply to comments tomorrow when I’m not asleep.
(Photo by Evil Erin.)
Really? Dollars are called loonies, I’m so using that, I love anything loonies.
Last week I wore shorts for the first time since last summer (!!!) and some random guy at the bank told me, “You need to get some sun on that body, girl!”
So. I should probably tan sometime soon too.
I love the word loonies and I’m jealous of the name of your monies!
I also enjoy a tanning bed.. if for nothing else, I can always find 15 minutes of restful sleep that I can never get in my own bed!*
I will refrain from comments on tanning bed use. I’m horrible with sunscreen and burn like woah, so who am I to talk? ;P
but, what i do enjoy about your tanning bed adventure posts on fb and here, is all the loonie comments! ;D I can vaguely remember when the loonie first came out thinking it was a ridiculous name… but it’s so commonplace to Canadians now.. I get a kick out of non-Canadians first time hearing about it
Have you tried using sunless tanning cremes? They have gradual ones that take a few days to get you tan so they don’t look fake. I only say this because I spent the summer after my senior year of college watching a close family die slowly of melanoma at 55. Cancer is scary my friend.
@Linlah: AAAND our $2 coins are called Twoonies!
@Taylor: what a charming gentleman! Maybe it was his pick-up line?
@Carissa: I swore them off FOREVER but I needed to feel warm one day…it was the best therapy EVER after months of winter
@Maggie: I don’t remember when the loonie came out! But I remember the twoonie…an dhow there was that story going around about how if you could remove the gold part in the middle, it would be priceless someday
@Cammy: Yeah, I totally understand, and sorry about your loss. Not trying to justify my decisions but I only go twice a week at the most, for 10 mins. It’s weird to think about skin cancer when, around here, we can go for months without sun, know what I mean? Recommend a good self-tanner and I shall try it.
I did a spray tan for my sister’s wedding and it worked like a charm. Even coating, lasted for a week, and people commented on my tan. No bad sun rays invited.
I think about tanning beds all the time…but I’m just so pale…I can feel my skin screaming at me after 8 minutes.
I’m trying to embrace the albino look…
I have this huge fear of getting “stuck” inside one of those tanning beds and roasting like a burnt sausage! Hmm, since I’m whiter than rice, I can recommend an Aveeno one, that actually looks pretty “natural” (as natural as it looks to have a pasty body and tanned legs, since that’s the only place I’ve tried it!)
Your comment made me feel old, so I looked it up. I was 5 when the loonie was introduced. Which led to me looking up your birthdate on facebook…. and YOU WERE ONE YEAR OLD. So, yeah, I’d imagine you don’t remember that ;P (but at least your were alive. I don’t know if I could be friends with you if you weren’t alive before the loonie…)
@JoAnna: how much does that sorta thing cost? did it stain your clothes?
@J: me too, but damn it isn’t easy when people keep telling you how health you look with a glow. /irony
@basia: oh man, a guy in AB actually got trapped in one that caught on fire sometime last year…he made it out safe, but that sounds like a nightmare!
@maggie: baaahahahaha! i didn’t even realize you were four years older than me. i remember the twoonie well.
Still your tanning experience was less humiliating than my spray tanning experience I recently blogged about. In an effort to not be bad, I was mortified. I guess we all pay our price for “a little color.”
Woah, someone caught on FIRE from tanning bed use?!?!? Horrifying. I run outside, I’m always trying to keep sunscreen ON (it’s hot in Texas, I can’t find anything sweat proof).
I recommend the Neutrogena self tanner. It’s REALLY gradual and you’ve got to make sure to exfoliate your skin ahead of time, but it looks pretty good. I have not tried to Aveeno one someone else recommended, but thats a good brand for other product, it’s probably good.
Oh, I love milky white skin, and wouldn’t go into one of those coffin-like thingies even if you paid me!
That’s a funny though, your crazy loonie story!
Okay I must admit that when I read the title I was imagining a rogue loonie in the actual bed WITH you leaving an unsightly hexagonal white spot somewhere ON you lol… I still probably would’ve thought Someone Up There was trying to tell me to stop tanning though too though, haha… and kept trying stubbornly!!