Here I am, just a few short days away from embarking on my Maritimes mission, and I’ve suddenly acquired a whole new set of friends. If you follow me on Facebook at all, you will witness the takeover of my wall.

Smash showed up on Friday, after not having seen her for over a year. We went to a random party, ended up downtown, and I wound up being the drunkest person of life. Naturally, I’d run into Tux Dude. This has happened FOUR TIMES now.

Saturday night, we held a little barbecue at the house for Smash and her beaux. Unfortunately, I was not feeling the booze. It was midnight and there were people rocking out around my kitchen table, and I felt too fat and sassy to participate. Naturally, once you admit this to a crowd of drunken revellers, the alcohol starts coming a whole lot quicker.

I ended up having an absolute blast, with another 5 a.m. sunrise party back at the homestead. So a few of us were sitting around the living room when a stranger walked in, and we welcomed him with open arms. Turns out he was one of the guys’ friends, but we didn’t know it at the time. And since we couldn’t remember his real name, and somebody thought he might be Chinese, we gave him the name “Chan.” Chan the Legend lives on, and definitely as a white man.

The best part was me having a hoard of men, whom apparently danced with me in the kitchen, smothered me in group hugs and then body piled me and Maggie. Sounds racier than what it actually was. Anyway, going with one of our many random jokes from that night, I sent Herr Big a relationship request on Facebook. I figure, hey, if I send out enough requests, eventually someone will be my boyfriend. So going with it, he accepted.

The world exploded. Literally, within 5 seconds of posting, three people “Liked” the status update. People started texting me, messaging me, commenting. I swear to god, it was like the apocalypse. My favourite was Cailin’s response, who expressed nothing but sheer disappointment that our Halifax mayhem would be dampened by my newly committed status.

Relax, I’m still on the market. Herr Big most likely thinks I’m crazy, which is a shame because I’ve become good friends with all his friends, but it’s okay. It’s the Summer of Candice, and I had to go out with a bang.

This post is tagged FML, Summer of Candice