So last weekend marked the shitshow celebration in St. John’s otherwise known as Mardi Gras…or Halloween. It’s my favourite time of year, and typically I spend a great deal of time putting together a costume. This year I went as Firefox, which I thought I did a pretty sweet job with, but hardly anybody at the party I attended paid heed.


Except for one guy, dressed as a Topgun character. I don’t know Topgun, but everyone else was happy to see him.

Anyway, he was really excited about my costume, and we started chatting for awhile. We had a great conversation, and then he left to grab a beer. I lost him in the suffocating crowd, joined my friends, and started double-fisting booze like there was a shortage.

Later, I ran into him in the throng of peopled decked out in every costume imaginable…including louffas, and one group dressed as a BLT with all the trimmings.

So we remained glued together for the remainder of the evening. Someone else took my camera and snapped a million photos, and I actually don’t remember talking to my friends much after that point. Then someone told me we were having an after-party at my place, so I invited Topgun back too.

Turns out there were more like four people at my after party. We joined them, had a seat on the futon, and then the nausea hit me.

I haven’t been sick since last year’s monumental wine fest, and I’ve been proud of this feat. I drink a lot of beer and I usually handle it well, but oh man, not that night. For some reason the beer came back with a vengeance, and I bolted to the bathroom nearby to unload everything in my stomach.

I’m not a quiet puker. You know those people who retch violently? That’s me, I hold nothing back. I’m practically screaming. He’s about 10 feet away from me, on the other side of a door.

Upon emerging, poor Topgun looked devastated. Like I had stolen his innocence. When he recovered, he was surprisingly nice about the whole thing, took my phone number, and I went upstairs to crash, expecting never to hear from him again. Suave, Candice. Suave.

But imagine my surprise the next morning when on my drive home to Bay d’Espoir, I receive a Facebook Friend Request from him. Then a text message. Then here I am two days later with a date for Saturday night, and I’m more confused than I ever was.

Should I have deployed this tactic all along? Should I have been playing the poor, defenceless victim to Alcohol? Time will tell, I guess.

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13 Responses

  1. maggie says:

    please, please, PLEASE do not attempt to reenact that pick up… if you start puking on the regular, I might have to defriend you ;)

    still rotted I missed that party… am unimpressed your costume did not have more of an impact ;P

  2. linlah says:

    My bestie from college married the guy she pucked in front of. You never know.

  3. Bay_Girl says:

    Awesome post. Thanks for the laugh ;)

  4. nashe says:

    We’re gonna need some developmental stories after this.

  5. Hey, it worked once — you may want to try puking again on Saturday!

  6. J says:

    As long as he doesn’t have a weird fetish, I’m super psyched for you!

    In America, it’s pretty weird to hear that someone doesn’t know anything about Top Gun…it’s kind of like a right of passage. Most women will remember that before they were fat and crazy, Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer were actually smokin’ hot.


  7. Hevs says:

    so asking a guy to pick your scabs doesn’t work but puking in front of them does ? interesting…

  8. Amazing! It always happens when you would never ever expect it. Wicked costume btw! =)

  9. Taylor says:

    Firefox? Cleverest costume I’ve heard of this year.

  10. Alexandra says:

    I agree with Taylor – your costume rocks(ed)!
    And frankly I don’t think guys generally fall for chicks who regurgitate near them, your Topgun guy seems genuinely nice. Hope your date goes well…

  11. Kate says:

    If a guy can handle puke, you know he’s a keeper!

  12. Great costume. And don’t sweat what happened. Sometimes you bat your eyes and sometimes you vomit. Both actions can produce the possibility of a relationship. LOL.

    But in all seriousness – and some people may not like this advice – although I sometimes drink, I have always abided by the theory of never dating anyone that I met while wasted. It never works. Sorry.

  13. admin says:

    Bahaha, thank you!

    CC: I agree, totally.

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